Mischief

My dad says I should write these things down, but I'm not sure these are the things I want to remember! Deacon causes a lot of, how do I say......mischief? Actually, I wouldn't use that word because he is a very sweet boy, he doesn't have mischief in his heart. But he is curious and destructive.

I hesitate to tell these things to Nathan each day when he comes home because I'm sure he's thinking, "What are you doing during the time he is causing all this trouble; eating bon-bons and watching soap operas?" So, I finally started taking note of what I'm doing when he is doing these things....and there are no bon-bons involved!:

While I was in the shower for approximately 6 minutes (short shower because I was running late for a doctor appointment): He pulled a chair to the fridge, removed one dozen eggs, took them to the formal living room and threw them at the front door one at a time.

As I was loading the dishwasher: he throws a half empty (yes, I'm pessimistic) cup of yogurt from the dining table to the living room splashing it all over the furniture.

While I go outside to bring in the garbage can from the curb (I am talking 60 seconds here people!): He grabbed my bedspread off my bed which is located at the back of the house and drug it into the kitchen at the front of the house. Then opened the freezer and removed two packs of pork links and several bags of frozen bananas, took them all the way back to my room and started playing baseball with them on my bed. {{{I WASN'T GONE FOR A FULL MINUTE!!}}}

Random piece of cheese he chewed up and threw at the wall. I found it 2 days after we had cheese and crackers for a snack.

When I was changing Addy's diaper: Adelaide took off her diaper and started rolling around nekkid on the floor. Cute. Until I realize it was a poopy diaper. So I told Deacon to go put it in the trash (something he's done a hundred times) while I cleaned her up. I was in a hurry so I didn't completely wrap the diaper up, I just handed him a corner. My mistake. A mistake I didn't realize until an hour later when out of nowhere he says "I put a poopy diaper in the freezer." Yeah. Nasty. I'll have to add that to the "Things Found in the Freezer" post.

While Nathan and I were making dinner in the kitchen: He squeezed out a bottle of Italian dressing all over Adelaide's dresser and carpet. Can I just say that both Nathan and I missed him sneaking it out of the fridge when we were in there!

Well, I just can't even keep track of where I am when he does these things, but here are some things from the past week:

-Smeared toothpaste all over the sofa.

-Painted a section of our carpet in the front room purple.

-Tore the wooden door off Nathan's brand new entertainment center.

-Dumped a jar of Cream of Tartar in his preferred corner.

-Spread 18 ounces of peanut butter all over the belt of my treadmill. How do I know the exact amount? It was a brand new jar!

-I was going back and forth from the laundry room to Addy's room putting away laundry and I kept getting whiffs of a poopy smell. She didn't have any dirty diapers in her room, so I checked the bathroom...and nothing. About five minutes later I was literally talking out loud to myself and said, "Why does my house smell like poop?!?" Deacon happened to be standing near me and joyfully answered, "Oh! I pooped in my room!" He had pooped in the middle of the floor, then used various toys to move it around throughout the room. I found it on his train table, on the back of his bedroom door, on his bed, and under a chair. It was disgusting.

-He dumped out a box of Fruity Pebbles in 3 different piles in the Family Room and covered each pile with the couch cushion. Then grabbed all of our food coloring and squirted it out on the carpet in the living room.

He's like a dog who marks his territory. That purple stain is from the paint he did a week before the food coloring. This isn't the first (or second) time he has brought things to this corner to play with and make a mess with.

And the straw that broke the camels back -OR- the day that Mama Aubrey went insane:

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Deacon was drinking at the table and left with his mouth full of chocolate milk. He went to Addy's room and spewed the brown drink all over her brand new cream ottoman and rocker. Deacon stood in her doorway and watched me as I scrubbed at the fabric. Then he reached over to her table and grabbed a package of baby wipes, ran to my bathroom and flushed them down my toilet!! So I left the chocolate milk and ran to the bathroom. He stood in the doorway and watched me as I fished each wipe out of the toilet. Apparently I didn't see him reach over and grab my toothpaste, and run out of the room. I just found him in his bedroom after he had squirted it out everywhere! (at least the minty smell would cover the poop smell from two days before).

All three of these things happened within five minutes. I had to lock him outside on the back porch so I could have a few minutes to clean it up and keep from beating him. This all happened the day after the food coloring incident (which I thought was my breaking point). I remember making a mental note of the day and thinking, "Friday, August 20th. The day I decided not to have any more children."

I do not think it was a coincidence that my sister Monica called me about an hour later. I was able to tap in to her vast knowledge when it comes to parenting. She has read soooo many books on the subject so she had several different ideas to try. Mostly, I think she helped me realize that Deacon knows what he is doing is wrong. Up until now, I had just been excusing him thinking that he's only 3 and he didn't know any better. So, I call Monica my 'Super Nanny' because she gave me so many strategies to try. I'm not exaggerating when I say I noticed a difference within 24 hours. Not a 180 degree turn around. Probably on a 2 degree change, but it was good. And since then it has only been better! He is still curious but he is doing so much better and I haven't had a single thing to add to this list of mischief! That and the fact that I can *almost* laugh about it means I'm ready to post it.

And we will have another child.......someday ;)